How to Train Your Partner

If you read the October issue you have already been introduced to Dennis, owner of Poodle Transport and his partner, Jake the toy poodle. Dennis and Jake have been running doubles for about seven years and just this last year they’ve brought on another partner, April, who is just a toy poodle. Dennis had his say last issue and this is Jake’s story….

Hi Drivers: We got into Vancouver one Friday night and got lucky at the ferry (no not that kind of lucky). We were walking on board when we met a trucker friend, Lee Rogers who was heading home for the weekend and he offered us a ride. This was great for two reasons, first it meant a ride right to our door and second, I wouldn’t have to sit on the car deck and listed to Dennis bitch about how cold it was.

            The only bad part was that Lee has a MACK! Now being a published poodle, I was a little miffed that I had to spend three hours staring up a Bulldogs butt and I never even got close enough for a sniff. Anyway, Dennis seemed to enjoy himself and I would like to thank Lee for that.

            After Lee dropped us off at our door, Dennis and Yvonne went out for dinner, which gave me a chance to blast off the true story of who trained who in this duo.

            Dennis thought he know a lot about teaching a young dog old tricks but by the time the dust had settled, he was the one who was trained!

            To start wish, spreading paper all over the floor of the truck was a waste of time. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t like living in an outhouse. When I dance, it isn’t because I’m black (no offence brothers), it means stop, I need to whiz. I’m sure you have all heard the old line about just hanging on for a minute and that minute seems like an hour.

            Well there is a solution to that problem. All you have to do is hunch up like you are about to spin one on the floor….. Those brakes come on in a flash, along with a plea to hang on one second. I guess to him a wet paper is alright, but if he thinks you’re about to go the distance……

Treats are another matter. If he wants a partner, best he brings a treat when he stops and eats, I can have a dog cookie anytime but I die for sausage, steak roast beef, or a fresh bone.

One of the most important things to remember when training a human is to be firm and consistent. If Dennis forgets my treat I set out to make sure this doesn’t become a bad habit. There are ways to punish him for this transgression, like barking in his ear when he is on the phone, or a personal favorite of mine, waiting until he is undressed and in bed, then doing the whiz dance a few times that night.

Parking is pretty important to a small dog. All I ask is that he be consistent. Park so that one of the other sides of the rig is clear of traffic. Boy, let me tell you trying to outrun 18 or 24 wheels on 5-inch legs is a real challenge.

When training your partner the trick is to let a few wheels come real close, this really causes an uproar, although it should not be attempted if you judgment is impaired. With a reasonably smart driver, once or twice is ample for this trick.

Sleeping priorities are a cinch, remember he is in his shorts, and therefore he is easy to intimidate. Pick a spot and then establish ownership, a growl and snapping of teeth will do the job. I like to curl up in the middle of the bunk and since Dennis is real sensitive about his center body parts, it was a cinch to train him!

That covers the main items in training a good driver. The important thing is to praise him all the time and make sure he thinks everything is his idea.

Just one more thing before I go, for all you four wheelers out there, do me a favor and please don’t tailgate the old fat I ride with and NEVER pass him on a double line.

Damn it, every time some does that I have to listen to him whine and whimper about being invited to someone else’s accident, and this isn’t just a five mile thing, it lasts for hours. You don’t even want to know how long he carried on the time that April ate his muffin, but that’s another story.

Give us a wave if you see us on the highway and remember, keep ‘em shiny side up.

Your pal Jake.